THE ART OF TOUCHING

Our bodies require touch: it relieves stress; it makes us happier and healthier. In our fast-paced lives, however, we often forget the importance of giving and receiving affection through physical touch. We deprive ourselves of this very basic need. We also deprive our loved ones. I can't emphasize enough how important touch is in any of your loving relationships. We strive to diet, to quit smoking, to drink in moderation, and to exercise, in order to promote a healthy body. In my opinion, touching is the most vital gift that you can give and receive.

Touching promotes a healthy mind, body, and soul. I know, for myself, my days are extremely busy, and at times very stressful. I look forward to the end of the day, when I put my arms around my partner and touch her: It calms me, it relieves my stress, and it allows us to demonstrate our love for one another. When I go out and I see a good friend, I give them a hug: it makes me feel good -- and I'm sure that it makes them feel good, too. If you have young children, and you arrive home, they're excited to see you; in most cases, they want physical contact from you-they want a hug, a cuddle, and a kiss. It makes them feel loved and cared for, and gives them the security that they need from you. After a long, stressful day, that hug and cuddle, whether it's from your child, partner, or even a friend, is the best medicine you can give yourself.

You may be single at this time. Being single doesn't mean that you don't need touching and physical closeness in your daily life. Especially if you have recently ended a relationship, you may be missing the hugs, kisses, embraces and handholding that you once had. Your life and the world do not stop because you're not currently in a loving relationship - neither does your need for physical closeness and touching. Remember your priorities: it all starts with you loving yourself and taking responsibility for giving yourself what you need. I'm not talking about masturbation here (though that may be what some people need). The art of touching encompasses non-sexual as well as sexual touch. It's equally important, whether you are single or in a relationship, to get your daily allowance of touching. Demonstrating physical closeness with family and friends is one way to elevate your mood, allowing you to feel loved and fulfilled, while giving love to others. Try babysitting your niece or nephew, or maybe a friend's child. Young children love holding hands and being hugged or cuddled. This type of touching not only makes them healthier, but also does wonders for you. Also, going for a massage, a manicure, a pedicure, or even a haircut can provide the touching stimulation that our skin needs.

If you are in a relationship, both sexual and non-sexual touch are important. During the euphoric stage of a relationship, sexual touch predominates. You can't keep your hands off of each other. I think you all know what I'm talking about. In the beginning, sex is a very important part of your relationship with the other person. When mature love begins, non-sexual touch becomes more important, as touch takes on an additional meaning. While sexual touch can communicate sexual feelings, non-sexual touch can simply communicate your love, care, and affection for one another.

Physical closeness and touching stimulates the continued growth of your loving relationships. As our relationships progress, we sometimes begin to take others for granted; we simply get lazy, especially with our loved ones. When it comes to practicing the art of loving in your daily life, you can't be lazy or take anybody for granted, including yourself. Touching is an integral part of this art, which requires knowledge, effort, and, above all, practice. If you are in a loving relationship, make a concerted effort to touch your partner. Don't forget to hug and kiss one another before you leave for work, or when you return home. Take advantage of quiet moments during the day to give affection to one another. Hold hands in a movie, at a restaurant, or while walking down the street. Showering or bathing together promotes touching, and will give you physical closeness with your partner. Whether you are at home or in public, demonstrate physical closeness with one another. I'm not talking about public displays of affection that would make those around you want to yell, "Get a hotel room!" I am sure you and your partner know appropriate ways to be physically close in public, to show your caring and affection for one another.